He Dwells Amidst My Life
The night quiet surrounded me. I sat on my bed gazing at the stars with tears pouring down my face. I worked myself into a state of depression because of memories of cruelty and meanness that I suffered because of other teens. Every taunt, jeer, and harsh word echoed in my mind. Teenagers were cruel then too especially to the always new girl. We moved so much that I stayed in a state of newness.
I hated myself that night. I felt alone, ugly, and depleted. My family life wrecked too because of my father’s mental illness that at only 14, I even thought dark thoughts about why I should continue. It wasn’t worth all the pain. I sobbed into my pillow thinking about going to the medicine cabinet.
I prayed to God. “Why, Lord. What use am I? Why should I stay here? Everyone hates me.”
In a sweet whisper, [tweetthis twitter_handles=”@MaryHill16″]His Comforter replied, “Because I love you. I want to dwell with you and amidst your life.”[/tweetthis]
[tweetthis twitter_handles=”@MaryHill16”]His words rained down on me. “You are my daughter. I love you so much that I died for you.”[/tweetthis]
[tweetthis twitter_handles=”@MaryHill16”]His love overflowed and filled me so complete, my anguish turned to worship and song.[/tweetthis]
I remember that night as if I just awoke from it. That night Jesus became so real to me. The reality of my Savior’s love quieted all my fears, worries, and self-doubt. I have not always lived in that reality, however. Even though doubt, fear, sadness, abuse, and trials still came through the years, God saved me over and over again from depression and dark thoughts. He never failed me.
It is His promise realized of being a God who dwells amidst His people in love. His very name implies dwelling.
1 John 4: 13 and 15 Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit... Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God.
Immanuel, God is with us. Isaiah 7:14King James Version (KJV)
14 Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.
He dwells with us. He is amidst us. He Love Us. Glory, Hallelujah. Just as that night so long ago, He is still with me this Thanksgiving Season!
This post is part three of my Fall Back Upon Thankfulness Bible study and journey that I invite you to join with me.
I know our lives are busy this season; so, I pledge to keep each day short and to the point. Even though the posts will be short, I plan to pack them with inspiration and Scriptural truths as we lead up to the Thanksgiving holidays and then flow into Christmas. This series is my gift to you. You can see more of my series by visiting the series landing page.
I am also writing this post for Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday linkup where the word for this week is Dwell.
Contributing to numerous hops on my Link-up Parties page for Thursday, Friday, and the weekend. Be sure to check out the great linkups!

Beautifully written message. Thanks for sharing.
Linda Carmical recently posted…The Cook’s Warehouse Blogger Brunch with Chef Mandy Landefeld
Amen! It is an amazing moment when He presents Himself to us. Thanks for sharing with #SocialButterflySunday! Hope to see you link up again this week 🙂
Kelly @RaisingSamuels recently posted…Homeschool Week 13: South America
What a beautiful testimony and words to cling on to in dark times. I know what it is like to be in that headspace as a teen.
Jodi recently posted…Advent as a family
Admist is a really beautiful word. So fitting for a post about dwelling with God. And those verses in 1 John 4. I need to study those. Thank you for highlighting them.
I am a fellow SC girl. I have enjoyed exploring your blog and plan on visiting again soon.
Blessings to you!
Robin recently posted…Dwell ~ A 5 Minute Friday Post
I love that our God never fails us. God is there and dwells among us even during those times when it isn’t turning out the way we want it too. Visiting from FMaf where I’m parked in the 13 spot,